This is my fat kid diary. Every day I have vowed to make a change. But tonight is where is really changes. I will be more active. I will eat healthier. Man, I will tattoo it on my arm if I have to. I want to be skinny. I want to be different.
I guess I want to be different because I want to fit in. I want to feel the same as everyone. I want people to look at me and not see a fat kid. Maybe that is just what I think people see because that is what I see. I can't make people see me as something I am not. I want to have guys look at me and want to know me. I want to feel beautiful. I know being skinny won't change the inside, but it will help, right?
I wrote that 3 years ago but never posted it.
From that time, my perspective on health has changed. I call myself a Fit Fat Girl. I am embracing who I am and trying to love the body I have. It is a waste of time to hate what I have. I mean, improving myself is never a bad thing, but why not love myself in the improvement process?
I AM A FIT FAT GIRL.
Giving myself a name, a label, is empowering. I know who I am and I want and will be proud of it. So watch out...this Fit Fat Girl has something to prove.
Growing up was not easy. I look back at the different and many times I was bullied, teased and dare I say humiliated because of my size or weight. I was one of those people who bullied myself too. I admit, I threw disgusted glares at myself. Scolded myself when I ate poorly or tired to justify those poor choices.
But it has to change.
I am a beautiful woman.
I am a child of God.
I am made in the image of God.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I have a purpose.
And I am not alone.
