It Starts Today

This is my fat kid diary. Every day I have vowed to make a change. But tonight is where is really changes. I will be more active. I will eat healthier. Man, I will tattoo it on my arm if I have to. I want to be skinny. I want to be different.

I guess I want to be different because I want to fit in. I want to feel the same as everyone. I want people to look at me and not see a fat kid. Maybe that is just what I think people see because that is what I see. I can't make people see me as something I am not. I want to have guys look at me and want to know me. I want to feel beautiful. I know being skinny won't change the inside, but it will help, right?

I wrote that 3 years ago but never posted it.

From that time, my perspective on health has changed. I call myself a Fit Fat Girl. I am embracing who I am and trying to love the body I have. It is a waste of time to hate what I have. I mean, improving myself is never a bad thing, but why not love myself in the improvement process?

I AM A FIT FAT GIRL.

Giving myself a name, a label, is empowering. I know who I am and I want and will be proud of it. So watch out...this Fit Fat Girl has something to prove.

Growing up was not easy. I look back at the different and many times I was bullied, teased and dare I say humiliated because of my size or weight. I was one of those people who bullied myself too. I admit, I threw disgusted glares at myself. Scolded myself when I ate poorly or tired to justify those poor choices.

But it has to change.

I am a beautiful woman.
I am a child of God.
I am made in the image of God.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I have a purpose.
And I am not alone.

Giant Men Meet Tiny Kittens

A Random Beginning

The sound of the lawnmower was carried throughout the neighborhood. It drowned out the other noises on the block. To me, it was quietness. It was the noise in which I could do my thinking, my dreaming and my seeing. I could only hear one noise when I turned on that mower and the world looked so different when there was no sound to it. It was like watching a movie with no sound, you can make the people say what you want them to say. I was the writer of their script.

The mower died down and the world’s noises flooded back to my ears as I finished up the yard. I looked around at my handiwork. The hedges were neatly trimmed and the grass was even. I took in a deep breath and sighed. It smelled of a job well done.

I packed my gear back up into my battered truck. I loved my truck. It was a deep blue with dents in the fenders and sides. Each one told of a different story of how it came into existence while some hid their story from the world and were left unknown. The inside was my home. I would sit in it for hours dreaming of things the way I wish they were. I would sit in the trunk bed and watch movies on my laptop, my own little cinema. Overall, it was where I was me.

The World in your hands

One thing I love about libraries is the vast amount of worlds stored in one building. It kind of reminds me of the Wreck-it-Ralph Train Station.

Each book leads to a different world with different rules. Just like in the movie.

In each world, one can experience the different things life has to offer. I recently finished The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. The words come to life and surround you in their world. You cannot help but be effected by the power they hold. Because of the trials Hazel goes through in the book, like battling cancer, losing loved ones, and dreams not being what they seem, I have also in a way been put through the same pains. I have been the silent cheerleader in her life as well as every traveler who has journeyed along side her.

I wrote my college essay on the worlds that books hold, so the theme is rolling through my mind.

Well guys...or girls....These people are all ready for the prom. I found this picture while browsing the internet, so I take no credit for its geniousness. That's all I have to say. Zayn's face def goes with his pose :) Liam, I'm sorry, but red is so not your color. Its Louis's color. Niall, your dress in absolutely gorgeous! great way to show yourself off! Oh Harry, that belt needs a different dress. Need some help picking clothes? :P Louis, your dress shows your bum off well! Nice choice :)
But there are things that could make you even more beautiful....Know what it is? (Besides me, cuz I know you are all thinking that!) But God in your hearts would make you that much more appealing. Joy inside of people is just so attractive!!! and being the way that you are (which is insanely hot and gorgeous) you would be off the charts. Well don't stay up all night thinking about this, but I may have just told you the one thing you were looking for. Well One Direction, this is WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!

One Direction <3

 

To all you people out there, One Direction is awesome :)

In the library...

Hey fellow peoples of this world. Hope you are doing well this fine and somewhat windy day. I have been having a good day so far. I am bored right now and all of a sudden I remembered I had a blog! So I am now sitting and typing random words that will later be published onto the world wide web.

Potato. This word can be said different ways. People have debated the true way to say it. Yup.

Tomato. This word can also be said different ways. But it is not as prominent as the debate for potato.

Okay is all I can think of right now...so BYE!